I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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