Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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