This girl is more easily done than said...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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