"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
now i know why i became what i already was.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
