Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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