I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
