We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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