Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
