I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
