I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
