nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
