No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish they made helmets for livers.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
