We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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