Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
