So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
