there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
