The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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