Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize