I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
