We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think your dad took our porno
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
