At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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