Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
