How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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