no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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