girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
