I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
