I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
