I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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