I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
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