just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
