think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
