hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
