it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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