i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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