So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
