he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
