I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
