We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
