whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize