those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
