we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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