I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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