u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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