she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
