I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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