you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?