I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
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There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
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Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line