Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic