you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I smell like Dick and happiness
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
