im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
