Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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