I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
