he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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