Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
