billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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