what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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