note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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