The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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