shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
