as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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