Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You're like the curious george of whores
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
