I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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