After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
