So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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