My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
