im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
