exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
