drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize