Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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