I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
