Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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