fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
